Evacuations, Arrests, and Hospitals–Oh My! Part 1

So, you’ve most likely already read the overview of what happened at the infamous Czech-Out party of 2012. Here are the details of it from my perspective, from about 1:00AM onward…

After hours of fraternizing, drinking, and masticating, I had lost track of just about everyone at the castle, so I decided to wander about to see what was going on in other locales. After about 20 minutes of meandering I happened to be walking by a bench when my name was called and an arm shot out, grabbing my hoodie. It appeared that Ann was just resting on the bench, leg sprawled out, but as we now know she had fractured her ankle. She sat there for a while trying to self-diagnose whether she could continue on or not, and eventually the decision was made to contact the staff and arrange for transport to the nearest hospital, as there was no way she could even walk the twenty minutes required to get back to the camp site.

A few of us helped get her out of the castle and to the entrance, where we would await the ambulance. After waiting 45 minutes or so Ann remembered that her insurance paperwork and whatnot was back at the car, so I sprinted off to get it. On my way back up the hill I was deluged with comments from drunken revelers on their way back to the tents about how the party was already over, and I shouldn’t bother heading to the castle. One of them stuck their arm out in front of me and I got smacked in the face. Then someone else did the same thing thirty seconds later, and I was smacked again. Nevertheless, I persevered on, running the entire way back, only to find out that Ann had just been picked up and driven off. The remaining team members and I returned back down the hill to regroup.

We needed to deliver the documents to Ann still, so Joe and I took down the roof tent and hopped in Lefty to try and make our way to the hospital. Amazingly, Joe got us there without getting lost at all, but once we had arrived it was a bit tricky finding which building we needed to go to, seeing as no one was around and all of the lights were off. We eventually stumbled upon the right door and were admitted to a dimly-lit corridor, where Ann was seated in a wheelchair along with her Czech interpreter. It happened that the hospital refused to see her without first checking her insurance paperwork, so she had been sitting there for more than an hour waiting for us to bring it over (which we had no idea of). She was frustrated, tried, and had no pain medication. Things were not going well.

We handed the paperwork over for the staff’s perusal. Present was an older lady who seemed to be in charge, a medical technician who looked like Frankenstein’s assistant, Igor, and an ornery X-ray tech (who proceeded to berate our translator [“It says to press once stupid–what, you can’t read?”] after he pressed the ‘assistance’ button more than once, thus rudely waking him from his slumber). X-rays were taken (with me right beside Ann at the time), cast was applied, and payment was dealt with (we had no Czech Crowns, so they did a bit of currency exchange for our Euros on the spot). Still no pain meds though.

Thoroughly exhausted by this point, we drove back to the campsite as the sun was coming up. The plan was to take Ann to the nearest big city–Munich–to get proper medical care in the morning… which it already was. We got maybe a couple hours of sleep (none for Ann, still without pain meds), before the pain was too much–we had to get Ann to the hospital. Everyone was still too sleepy/exhausted/hungover from the previous days travails to get on the road right away, so I volunteered to drive her myself, leaving the rest of the crew with Righty. It would take about two hours to make our way south again, through the German border, and onward to the hospital that Ann had set up with her insurance provider to provide assistance.

We hadn’t been in Germany for over five minutes when a car swiftly passed us and an arm shot out of the window holding a “Polizei” signs, signaling for us to pull over in back of them.

To be continued…

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